How About a Hug

  Lately there seems to be a few more funerals on the agenda.    The last wake that I was at was for my sister-in-law's mother.   I found myself going through the family line and shaking hands and sharing our condolences.   You know - shake a hand and say "you have my sympathy".  Shake another hand and "you have my sympathy".    Shake another hand and "you have my sympathy".    When I got to my niece and held out my hand, she stated that hand shakes were out and she would like a hug.   So I did the hug thing.  Doing the hug thing was the right thing to do, but I have to admit I was a little disappointed in myself that I had to be asked to give a hug.  It should have been a little more spontaneous on my part.   At a time like this, it should have come naturally.   So it became one of those things that I inadvertently have reflected on for the past few days.  

There are some things I find easy to hug...

Hugs from Grandma are always special

  Often at weddings, it has become a common practice that when the wedding ceremony is over and the wedding party marches out - the bride and the groom return to usher the remaining guests out.   I can't help it.   I watch each pew being emptied and everyone stops to be introduced to the unknown spouse of the new couple and each guest wishes the newly married couple happiness in their new joint future.  The women generally hug both  the groom and the bride while men will pat the groom on the back or shake his hand and then they are confronted with the question "Do I know the bride well enough for a hug or do I do the hand shake thing"?  While I'm watching I am in envy as some 70 year old guy is so smooth that it looks sincere as he gives the bride a hug.   He makes it look easy.    And then there is the 14 year old boy who the bride is looking forward to receiving a hug from and he is in the panic mode.   His thoughts are led to that "what if" possibility.   You know - the one of smashing or crushing the front part of the wedding dress.   Could one wreck something???    I watch all this with interest until they finally have reached our pew and now little beads of sweat start to break out on my hairless head as I know the balance of the crowd will be watching me to see how smooth or smooth less I perform.    (Note to self - At future weddings, always try to set in the back of the church.)  
   My wife is a hugger.   It is natural for her whether you are at a funeral or wedding.   Whether you are an old old person or a young young person .   Grand-kids always get a hug from her whether they want it or not. She doesn't seem to dwell on it like I do.  For her it is "Wham Bam".  

Practicing my hugging skills.

    I have often wondered if it is in the blood.    I'm mostly German.    I just don't picture stout Germans putting the priority of hugging on the list of importance.   It is not a trait that comes naturally.   (Aren't Germans more known for their beer drinking habits?)    
     
       I grew up in a family of three boys.   I raised three sons.   I think I missed out on the hugging classes and I am sorry to say that I probably did not do a good job of passing that talent on to my siblings.  

   That doesn't mean I can't change.   I know it is getting late in my life.   I pledge to work on tuning up my hugging skills.   The next time you see me instead of my saying "Would you like a beer?"  I'm going to say to you "Let me give you a hug."        Hmmm.